I want to write about a series of haikus related to my one day in fall.
Topic: One day in Fall
morning→commuting→study at ICU→lunch→study at library→club activity→back home→taking a bath→watching TV→sleeping→(next morning) twice sleep
Genre: Haiku
If possible, please give me some critical comments in my Google doc's piece#2!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/17QGbJ1z3UiLT6wmLEtdnPn2hQXeOTT7AoxZTeF3iDhc/edit?hl=ja
Hi,Aze. I like second one! I think you had better make more haiku to publish. If you could attach image that show the situation, your publish would be better.
返信削除Thanks for your comment!!
返信削除I want to make more haikus and attach images.
I think it is good. I just thought that the word "concentration" is used in two haiku, so if you can it might be better to change one of the word I think.
返信削除Anyway, good ones!
Thanks Buchi!!
返信削除I want to think about other vocabulary and change them!
If you have some pieces you want me to look at, please tell me!!