Piece #1 Draft: A Personal Narrative

------------ My Draft ------------

 How could I get the driving license?

3/3-8/16: too long/ my characteristic?

3/11 earthquake. My experience after the driving lessons and having heard about the driving school when the earthquakes happened after 3/11

Twice failure
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 ↑
too broad

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Now I want to focus on my experience of the day of the earthquakes.

some people who i met
represent what people are

ーーーーーーーーーーーー

Topic: my experience about on 3/11 people who I met

Genre: A personal narrative
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I want to publish this, so please check it and give me comments!! (2011/ 10/ 4)

2011 SE Mark YOU

#1

Topic: my experience about 3/11 about people who I met

Genre: A personal narrative

     On 3.11 14:46, we had a big earthquake. At that time, I was on a train waiting for the train leaving the Nakano Station where I changed from the Chuo-line to the Tozai-line. At first, I did not think it was an earthquake. I thought it was a shaking which somebody made to ride on a train. However, the shaking was becoming bigger and bigger. I felt it is not general one. I was scared by the shaking, so I went out from the train. Very large, strong and long earthquake. Substances suspended from the ceiling shook very strongly and at any moment they seemed to fall. From vending machines, strong noise occurred. Turned my head. There were the train shaking like a ship which faces big waves. Instinctively, I searched a safe place. “Safe place,,,where??” I couldn’t. There were no safe spaces. “If the substances fall down? If the vending machines fall on the floor?” I managed to catch a bar and squatted down. Bewared against substances around me.

     After the 1^st big earthquake, the JR’s staffs excluded the people, who were in the station, including me! I could not believe what they mean. “If people are excluded from this station, many people wait around the station. It is very dangerous!!! Why JR stuff do this?” After excluded, I had 2^nd and 3^rd big earthquakes when I walked under many heavy and big signboards.

     I could not get enough information. “What happened? What should I do?” I searched information by using my cell phone. However, I could not get information in detail. I did not know about the fear without information. More and more people came to the station, but could not enter it. JR stuff did not give us any information. Eventually, they pulled down shutters.

     After walked around the station for 4hours, I went to the Nakano Sun Plaza. I sat on a stair. I was spoken to 2 elderly women. We talked a lot not only about the earthquake, which I got by using my mobile phone, but also our family, her (one of them) experiences of the evacuation to Iwaki, Ibaraki in WWⅡ, etc. She was afraid of the safety of her relatives in Iwaki. We did not know about the nuclear power plant accidents, at that time, so we talked about only earthquakes’ and tsunami’s damages. She said, “Your parents are probably afraid of your safety, now. All parents always tend to worry about their children.” After talking a lot, I found that I calmed down thanks to them. They gave me some bread even though we met each other for the first time. They said, “You are a student. We want to help you”. I felt a real meaning of gentility. I said, “Thanks to you, now I can calm down.” They replied to me “Thanks to you, we can calm down and get the information about the earthquakes.”

     After 4 hours talking, a public servant came. We went to a junior high school to stay the night, but the map, which the servant gave us, to the school is very hard to understand for them. Therefore I led them to the school. They said, “Thanks to you, I can go there. Thank you so much.” However, I thought if the women did not talk to me, I would have become more nervous or crazy.

     When we arrived at the school, the teacher said, “Originally you cannot use here because you are not residents of Nakano ward.” However, if we are residents of here, we can go home!! I was very shocked by the man’s words. After that, I helped to prepare the emergency evacuation site. I carried many simplified boards for laying on the floor and many futons. When I prepared, I saw 3 immoral people. One was a man with a woman. He helped preparing before the woman, but once the woman disappeared, he quitted preparing. The 2^nd person is an elderly man. While some people work to prepare, he egoistically said, ”I want to eat or drink something hot!! Give me something, soon!!” No work, no dinner. Well…, I did never eat anything on the night. The 3^rd person is some company employees. When I prepared, they quickly got many futons and slept soon. They thought only about themselves. I thought that on emergency time people probably tend to show their true self, after this experience.

     After preparation, I lied down. I looked up the unfamiliar ceiling. Sometimes suddenly shaked by many big earthquakes. I wanted to meet my family. Felt anxious. Humans need some other people’s help. I actually realized that family is very, very, very important for me!!

     Morning, I went back home by train without knowing the tragedy of this earthquake. From a train, I could see the very beautiful sun. After I opened my house’s door, I really calmed down. I did “daily” things, such as taking a bath and eating a breakfast, and faced “non-daily” things: such as newspapers with terrible photos and TV program showing terrible images. However, I felt the parents’ love and went to bed…


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From here my edited piece. (2011/10/10)

2011 SE Mark: YOU, Piece#1                        Author: 141029 Yosuke Azetaka

Topic: My experience about people who I met on 3.11

Genre: A personal narrative

Author’s note

Through my experience, I communicated with many people and met some immoral people. In case of emergency, people may often tend to be self-centeredness. However, I want to be kind and in cooperation with other people in any case of emergency. Through my piece, I want you to “re-experience” my experience on 3.11. To read, and to feel, please. What can we do to the people? Are there no possibilities for us to become immoral people like them??

     On 3.11 14:46, we had a big earthquake. At that time, I was on a train waiting for the train leaving the Nakano Station where I changed from the Chuo-line to the Tozai-line. At first, I did not think it was an earthquake. I thought it was a shaking which somebody made to ride on a train. However, the shaking was becoming bigger and bigger. I felt it was not a general one. I was scared by the shaking, so I went out from the train. Very large, strong and long earthquake. Substances suspended from the ceiling shook very strongly and at any moment they seemed to fall. From vending machines, strong noise occurred. Turned my head. There were the train shaking like a ship which faces big waves. Instinctively, I searched a safe place. “Safe place…where??” I couldn’t. There were no safe spaces. “If the substances fall? If the vending machines fall on the floor?” I managed to catch a bar and squatted down. Bewared against substances around me.

     After the 1^st big earthquake, the JR’s staffs excluded the people, who were in the station, including me! I could not believe what they mean. “If people are excluded from this station, many people wait around the station. It is very dangerous!!! Why JR stuff do this?” After excluded, I had 2^nd and 3^rd big earthquakes when I walked under many heavy and big signboards.

     I could not get enough information. “What happened? What should I do?” I searched information by using my cell phone. However, I could not get information in detail. I did not know about the fear without information. More and more people came to the station, but could not enter it. The JR staffs did not give us any information. Eventually, they pulled down shutters.

     After walked around the station for 4hours, I went to the Nakano Sun Plaza. I sat on a stair. I was spoken to 2 elderly women. We talked a lot not only about the earthquake, which I got by using my mobile phone, but also our family, her (one of them) experiences of the evacuation to Iwaki, Ibaraki in WWⅡ, etc. She was afraid of the safety of her relatives in Iwaki. We did not know about the nuclear power plant accidents, at that time, so we talked about only earthquakes’ and tsunami’s damages. She said, “Your parents are probably afraid of your safety, now. All parents always tend to worry about their children.” After talking a lot, I found that I calmed down thanks to them. They gave me some bread even though we met each other for the first time. They said, “You are a student. We want to help you”. I felt a real meaning of gentility. I said, “Thanks to you, now I can calm down.” They replied to me “Thanks to you, we can calm down and get some information about the earthquakes.”

     After 4 hours talking, a public servant came. We went to a junior high school to stay the night, but the map, which the servant gave us, to the school is very hard to understand for them. Therefore I led them to the school. They said, “Thanks to you, I can go there. Thank you so much.” However, I thought if the women did not talk to me, I would have become more nervous or crazy.

     When we arrived at the school, a teacher of the school said, “Originally you cannot use here because you are not residents of Nakano ward, ha-ha, so you should thank us!!” However, if we are residents of here, we can go home!! I was very shocked by the man’s words. Was he a human, really? After that, I helped to prepare the emergency evacuation site. I carried many simplified boards for laying on the floor and many futons. When I prepared, I saw 3 immoral people. One was a man with a woman. He helped preparing with the woman, and enjoyed preparing with her through talking, but once the woman disappeared, he quitted preparing. He went to get the simplified board and futon, and slept, soon. Irritated me. The 2^nd person is an elderly man. While some people worked to prepare, he egoistically said, ”I want to eat or drink something hot!! Give me something, soon!!” No work, no dinner. Also, He was not my customer. Who was he? He was only a person who could not go home due to the earthquake. Even if you wanted to become angry, you should not have been angry to us. Well…, I did never eat and drink anything on the night. The 3^rd person is some employees of some companies. When I prepared, they quickly got many futons and slept soon. They do not have any feeling to help to other people. They were “customers”. They thought only about themselves. I thought that on emergency time people probably tend to show their true self, after this experience.

     After preparation, I lied down. I looked up the unfamiliar ceiling. Sometimes suddenly shaken by many big earthquakes. I wanted to meet my family. Felt anxious. Humans need some other people’s help. I actually realized that family is very, very, very important for me!!

     Morning, I went back home by train without knowing the tragedy of this earthquake. From a train, I could see the very beautiful sun. After I opened my house’s door, I really calmed down. I did “daily” things, such as taking a bath and eating a breakfast, and faced “non-daily” things: such as newspapers with terrible photos and TV program showing terrible images. However, I felt the parents’ love and went to bed…


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Thank you for your all comments!!
I finally accomplish writing my piece#1, so, if possible, could you look at it?
http://you-personal-writing.blogspot.com/p/by-aze.html
As above, it is a link to my piece#1!!


Aze